It is cloudy. Cool. Overcast with clouds. And if there's anything blue to be seen on this day, it's not the sky over the golf course in Samedan, not that glorious blue sky typical of the Engadin, but Claudio Zuccolini's outfit. A man in blue. Yves Klein blue pants. Deep sea blue his jacket. And yes, his baseball cap is pretty blue too. We're standing at the first tee. He takes a swing. The ball flies and flies and lands perfectly. An estimated 180 meters further. No one who is really blue can do that. «Very nice», he says, «the first tee shot is particularly important to me. If it goes out of bounds, then experience shows that it's a difficult game for me, not to say bitterly serious.» He laughs - and you can see his charming gap in his teeth, a distinguishing feature he shares with British racing driver Lewis Hamilton.
Is golf a counter program to what you usually do? «Absolutely», he says, «as we move across the fairway, on stage I talk and talk and talk. Here, I like to keep quiet and enjoy nature.» He also has to concentrate very hard to get into the game, because he lacks the ambition on the green to become a really good player. He certainly has it for his work: he has won many awards as a stand-up comedian for making people laugh. And he has been doing this for over 17 years now. He looks at their quirks and gets downright deliciously worked up about everyday topics. It is not without reason that his current program is called: Der Aufreger.
Claudio Zuccolini. 53 years old. Nickname: Zucco. Eye color: Brown. Astrological sign: Virgo. And that brings us right to the heart of the matter, because Virgo is considered to be particularly hard-working, intelligent and, above all, curious. Good prerequisites for a comedian. Anything else? Yes, this also suits Virgo: he is an absolute hypochondriac. «If I have a headache for two or three days, then it's definitely a brain tumor for me.» He tells us this as we search for his ball in a semi-high rough covered in yellow flowers. And on the subject of «searching», he remembers something else. A very personal quirk: «I'm terrified when I get somewhere that I won't find a parking space. And if it's a place that a lot of other people are going to at the same time, it's pure psychological stress for me.»
These are the kind of topics that he also presents on stage for a laugh. But they also seem funny coming from him on the golf course. Perhaps because of his dry way of putting things. And how reassuring that the search for balls in the rough doesn't upset him as much as the search for a parking space. The fact that he plays par on hole 3 and his ball lies on the green of hole 4 in one shot shows how focused he is at the moment, even though we are talking incessantly. Recently, he says, he wrote to a colleague that golf is insanely fun, that it is good for the body and mind, but that golf is not fun at all. It should be added that he remains surprisingly calm and even shows his charming gap-toothed laugh when his ball hits the water on the second shot at hole 5. «Let the fish eat it», he says, and places a second ball in front of the water, which then lands perfectly on the green. How does he pull himself out of a slump during the game? «The golf god does that», he says, «he always manages to get me back into the game after a few shots.»
I tell him that a wonderfully crazy Englishman once expressed the wish in his will that his ashes be scattered at hole 14 on the golf course in Samedan, which was then done. I then ask him what sentence he would like on his gravestone. He thinks for a moment and says: «He made us laugh.» A wonderful sentence in its simplicity and expressiveness. And as we continue walking, I ask him if there is no such thing as a sophisticated laugh as there is no such thing as a sophisticated orgasm. He laughs. He likes the question, but even now he thinks about it for a moment. He says: «Well, the French call it la petite mort. That sums it up quite well. They mean the short-term loss of control. Conversely, it means that if you think too much about the orgasm, it never comes. It's similar with humor.»
The theme of humor follows us throughout this round of golf. There are some humorous golfers who have left sentences for eternity. The American actor Jack Lemmon, for example. He became famous as a comedian in Billy Wilder's films and once said: «If you find it difficult to meet new people, just pick up the wrong golf ball.» The words of professional golfer Craig Stadler are also unforgettable: «Why do I play with a new putter? Because the old one didn't float so well.» These are the kind of sentences you say. But using humor to finance your life is a completely different matter. And of course Claudio Zuccolini is always a little nervous before a new program. «It's tough when you go out with your stuff for the first time», he says, «you never know how it will be received.»
In the meantime, the sky has turned a little blue. The comedian raves. The Engadin bears the title «the most beautiful high valley in the world» for good reason. Every time he drives down the Julier Pass from Zurich with his wife and two daughters, it makes his heart beat faster. He says: «Here in the Engadin, I can also prepare well for my first performances with a new program.» And which golf course do you prefer to play? Samedan or Zuoz? «Definitely Samedan», he says, «I'm a lazy dog when it comes to golf, the course in Zuoz is too challenging for me. But of course I also enjoy playing it from time to time.» However, golf also takes time, so does the sport still fit into today's world, where everything is shorter and shorter? «That's precisely why golf is perfect», he says, «because you're in the here and now and can finally switch off from all the everyday madness with social media and obligations and the big mess in the world and forget everything for a few hours.» Everything else can be seen in his stage program!
